totally addicted to caffeine and energy drinks. Packaging, buzz and nutrition reviews

Element energy water introduces something new to the caffeine world. Sure, there have been a number of bottled caffeine waters over the years, most famously, Water Joe - a water with a kick that made all the news back in the mid-90's. Since that fad all but dissapeared, there have only been a handful of energy waters out there, and most have been laced with other stuff like sugars and fake berry flavoring.

I have been fortunate to be able to try a number of other energy waters, like Avitae and Fyxx, both of which have been decent. Element is better though, because they contain a mystery third ingredient. Well, actually, not that mysterious - just unique. Element has theanine in it, an ingredient that comes from green tea and is supposed to help with concentration and mental focus. Hydration, mental focus and energy, all while tasting like nothin'; pretty neat idea!

Packaging:6
It's a water bottle. I like the water bottle - but there is only so much you can do with it. The bottle is clear - so you can be sure that it doe snot have anything in it that would make it look cloudy or weird. What I really do like is that they list the caffeine content - so it is no surprise what you are going to get out of it.
Other than that - it is what it is: a basic bottle of water.

Taste:10
This is about as close as I have ever seen a caffeinated water get to just regular water. There is a slight aftertaste, but pretty much it tastes no better or worse that any water from the tap. Figuring this is full of theanine and caffeine, this is a pretty remarkable achievement. According to their local New York newspaper, the Saratogan, they achieved this laudable goal by using extracts from the green coffee berry, which they say does not have any of the harshness that caffeine usually does. I would chalk this up to hogwash, but it certainly seems to work. Even after reviewing caffeine drink for many years, I guess I can still learn a thing or two.

I tried this on couple occasions, both in the gym and at work, ice cold and luke warm. No matter how you try it, this is really just water - only with about as much caffeine as a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Buzz:7
Element tastes just like regular plain old water - and I LOVE it; especially in the gym. It turns out that bringing one of these bottles onto the treadmill has completely helped power my workout. It is only 50mg of caffeine, so it is not like this is a particularly big blast of energy. However, when you are working hard and sweating, slamming a bottle of Element proved to be the PERFECT dose of caffeine to help give me the little bit of energy needed to recover from it in short order.

The theanine is really what sets this apart from other caffeinated waters. Rather than bothering with taurine or B vitamins, The theanine kept me very alert and focused - which I really felt. It could have been just psychosomatic, but I really felt great both times I tried this at the gym, more than plain old regular water.

The effect was more mellow outside of the gym though. There is only50mg in a full 17 ounce bottle, so it takes a while to even consume that much liquid. It took me a couple hours to drink through two full bottles of Element, and there was so much peeing from all that water it would be a bad choice to go for this if you wee really needing energy. where this drink works is if you are one of those people who drink the recommended 6-8 cups of water a day. If you keep drinking water, you keep consuming small amounts of caffeine - enough to keep you energized through the day. Especially cool would be al the focus you would have from a constat dose of theanine too.

That being said, I really wanted one with a stronger boost in it, or a smaller bottle with the same potency. While this was nice for the gym, outside I craved a bigger amount of energy to get me through the day without drinking all that water. For now, you can find them to buy at http://www.amazon.com/Element-Caffeinated-Water-16-9-Case/dp/B005580CAK

When you are pounding the pavement or busting ass on the treadmill, it is hard to tote along with you an energy bar or snack to help you with that last part of your workout. No matter how hard you try, an energy drink will not stay taped to your body, and it is not like gym shorts or marathon outfits have terribly deep pockets, if at all. This is why long distance running and other physical events that last longer than an hour usually have their race path littered in little gel packs. These are little shots of syrup that contain sugary syrupy caffeinated goo, and the athletes tape these onto their body and when they need a boost, just rip off the top, slug down some thick slime and get a dose of energy and stamina and other good stuff to continue on.

The whole idea is that you take one of these gel shots about fifteen minutes before you go out and exercise. This give you the initial power source to get you moving. Then after half an hour after you are into your routine you squeeze another gel pack in your mouth, and that should help you either recover if you are done working out, or help keep you going if you are not done yet.

I have had the chance to review a couple of these gel packs before, namely the Clif Shot gel and Powerbar Gummies, although there are quite a few of these products on the market I have had the pleasure adding to my workout routine, like GU, Hammer and Stinger. My goal has been to get myself back to the shape where I can do a 10k less than an hour - and 20miles on my bike. These are pretty reachable goals, but both require more than a half an hour working out.

Packaging:10
One of the most important things for a product like this to work well is ease of opening and durability. You don't want to have to quit in the middle of your routine to pull off a hard to open package, nor so you want this blopping down your workout gear. Fortunately, e-motion does great in all respects.

First, it looks like business. You feel more serious with this than a pack of marathon or CARBoom or any of those other gels. That might not make much of a difference, but this looks like serious work gear and like nothing your average Joes can find in the energy bar section of their local Safeway. There is a real cleanness and intensity with the black pack, and I really enjoyed having this as part of my workout gear.

Also, it functions perfectly too. The top rips off easily with one hand or with your teeth in a pinch. It is easy enough to squish in your mouth and knock back. There is a listing of everything on the package, including caffeine content and instructions! Overall, e-motion did a flawless job with making a great gel container.

Taste:6
Some people like their gels thick and sticky, and some like them watery and easy to suck down. Advocare's version is definitely not easy to slug down. It has the consistency of cold honey - and scraping it out of the pack with your teeth is the only way to pull all of this heavy glop out of the foil pack. To each their own, but I find it almost impossible to get my mouth un-sticky without water. It is also very sweet - almost to the point of being too much. This is very much the consistency and sweetness of an extra large honey stick - one that you get in straws in natural food health stores.

However, the flavor is quite yummy once you can pry your mouth open again. It tasted lust like the honey filled center of those hard candies you had when you were young. It is very natural tasting, and somehow tastes good for you, but the thickness ad sweetness can be overpowering.

Buzz: 10
The important thing to look at when checking out energy gels are simple sugar content, electrolyte content, calorie content, and of course for me, caffeine! Sugar and calories are great for fast acting energy and fuel replacement, as you are working on your 400th burned calorie and need more fuel for your fire. Electrolytes are needed to help with your salt and potassium loss you get from sweating.

E-motion gel is packed with the usual Vitamin B complex mix that you find in every energy drink known to beveragekind, but something I have not seen in other energy gels. There are the electrolytes packed in here, sugar (glucose and fructose syrup) and maltodextrin, which is a chemical sweetener made from corn or potatoes. Then has more unique ingredients, like a helping of vitamin D. Topping it all off they add 4mg protein, which on the face does not seem that much. But, since you are supposed to tae two of these when you workout, you are actually getting 8mg protein, which is a very decent amount to get absorbed into your body quickly and easily.

In terms of energy, there is 50mg caffeine per gel pack, but that amounts to 100mg per workout. I found this to be an improvement over most of the other energy gels out there, and really helped ut in the gym. There is no doubt I noticed marked improvement in my long distance workout days - being able to power through the last of my workout a whole lot easier than without. All the times I tried e-motion, I went from thinking that I just could not continue another minute to powering myself through it. For those who are serious about their endurance cardio, I would definitely consider adding this to their workout routine.

Through years of me reviewing caffeinated chaw, caffeine tights, energy spray, patches and all else, there is no doubt to me that caffeine nose no bounds. It can certainly be entered through your nasal passages just as well as your mouth, as proven with the caffeinated energy snuff I have tried in the past. Turbo Snort is a caffeinated nasal spray - a bit of mist you puff up far into your nasal cavity and let the good times roll. In the case of these ingredients, Turbo Snort tries to make you more mentally aware as well as keep you physically awake. I managed to talk with Wayne Perry, one of the people behind this new and most interesting of products. According to Wayne,

"I have worked for years in the natural health industry developing numerous products including nasal sprays. After creating several homeopathic nasal sprays that use tiny doses of active ingredients to alleviate various conditions, I realized that intranasal ingestion only required tiny amounts to produce big results. In fact, I created a nasal spray to help people quit smoking and added guarana to it. After trying it I realized the caffeine in the guarana immediately perked you up. That's when I first got the idea for an energy nasal spray."

And then it was named Turbo Snort. Really. And truthfully, I am totally OK with it - even to the point of looking forward to it now. I have no idea if shoving all these chemicals are good for my nostrils or not, although I do seem to be blowing my nose more. Also, it kinda makes me tingle. Mind you, I am not used to having such wetness up my nostrils, and I feel like my smelling ability has gone from really bad to really really bad. Of course, I am taking about 25-30 sprays up each nostril a day now.

Packaging:9
Turbo Snort comes in a little inhaler - all in shades of greenish. I am not sure why they picked a nice soothing green for the top, label, logo and everything else, but it works. Mind you, there is a ton of hard to read writing on the bottle, but you need the instructions warnings and ingredients - of which there are plenty of each.

My only complaint is when the top popped off and I had to search around and be clever to try to get the last of the juice out of the bottle. I am not sure this has anything to do with defective packaging and instead is more my own inability to not lose my things.

Taste:4
I know that this should not be tasting of anything, as it is getting shoved up my nose. However, this definitely tastes, as well as smells too. It burns a little as it is up in my skull someplace, which is not terribly pleasant. Not that it is strong or powerful, but it is just not terribly nice. The smell is very pepperminty, although not as harsh as you would think for squirting stuff up your nostrils. While a couple sprays in each nose hole does not alter your smell at all, after a while of continuous sprays you can really smell the chemicals.

After a while I could not help but wonder what this tasted like as well, so I sprayed a good half dozen shots in my mouth, and there I could really taste it. Of course, it was awful. Trust me, The nose is the only orifice for this stuff. However, I did use the top to try spraying a 5 Hour energy up my nose, and this stiff is WAAAY better for nasal caffeination than any other liquid.

Buzz:6
One of the most interesting things about this is that there is a very low caffeine level in here - almost to the point of it being laughable. There is a little less than one milligram of caffeine in each spray (you would need to spray over 30 times to get the same caffeine content as a can of Coke), but they still insisted I would feel energy from this. Doubtful but willing, I started carrying this with me for a number of days, spraying this stuff in my skull every chance I remembered.

The bottle says do not take more than 25 sprays every 4 hours. Because I do write about caffeine my tolerance level could have been higher than other people's, but I try to keep myself at a normal keel of caffeine intake. So about every 20 minutes toa half hour I would spray a little more of this up my nose awaiting the effects. Even though there is such little caffeine, the mix is interesting enough that i really wanted to feel the effects. About the caffeine, Wayne mentioned

"We have a two pronged approach to adding caffeine. First we use proven caffeinated herbal tinctures (guarana, green tea and kola nut). Then we add Caffeine Anhydrous in powder form (not only to pump up the caffeine content), but to also help increase instant absorption which is something caffeine is proven to do. Whenever you mix powdered caffeine with other ingredients - it creates super absorption for all ingredients whether through the skin, nose, blood-brain barrier, etc..."

So the caffeine is not only supposed to perk you up, but supposed to help absorb the other stuff in here. Besides the stuff my mentioned, this is also mixed with Creatine, Glutamine, Taurine, as well as a little vitamin C. I really enjoyed that they were more than just a caffeine supplement, and also tried to reach for some of the more interesting energy ingredients out there.

As for how it performed, it was unfortunately very weak. Don't expect the normal buzz from this, or the usual alertness either. This would not be a good choice to take on a long road trip or so anyplace you need an instant jolt of energy. The effect was much much more prolonged, specially since you should only use 6 sprays an hour. Except for the first time, I really did not get that wired feeling, nor the brain on fire with the focus feeling either. I was hoping to snort some up and feel the rush of my brain tingling, but instead it just felt a little wetter.

I found I could feel something more when I combined the snort with other caffeine, like coffee or an energy drink. It did add just that little bit of extra oomph in there, though again in a very mellow non-intrusive kinda' way.

The phrase "Cowboy up" means that when things are getting tough you have to get back up, dust yourself off and keep trying. It means that sometimes life sucks, but you gotta tuff-up, get back on your ride, don't back down, don't give up, and do the best you can with the hand you're dealt. You get the idea. Strangely, I had never heard the term until doing research for this drink but I guess it is a very common phrase uttered by thousands of them ranch types. When I talked to some friends who had kin in Oklahoma or grew up in Texas, they said the phrase is very common - just not to a city boy like me.

Cowboy Up is not just a name or a phrase, but now also an energy drink by Zia Beverage in New Mexico. Now lots of companies name their drink something with a nice phrase but means little to them. Who even knows if Who's Your Daddy drinks are even made my fathers. Bad Boy drinks are neither bad, and most likely not made by boys. But to Cowboy Up, the name is not just a phrase but also a way of life. The founders are actual cowboys, still working the their ranch, the Pitchfork Cattle Company, with over 700 cattle on 32,000 acres of land.

However, these cowboys have really created something new. Cowboy up is one of the more unique energy drinks I have seen, from their bottle right down to their ingredients, Cowboy Up energy drink really cowboyed up when it came to their product, opting for originality instead of just making another ho-hum drink with a cool name.

Packaging:9
Cowboy up is in one of the coolest energy drink bottles I have ever seen - hands down. This comes in a metal beer bottle shaped bottle, only with a gradient silver-to-blue scheme that is unlike any other energy drink I have ever seen - and I have seen all of them. Not only is this in a very unique and gorgeous metal bottle, but the printing is first class and the design is top notch. The top of the bottle is not a twist off, so they sent along awesome little spur shaped bottle openers to go with it. According to Zia Beverage, they are going to be having these spur bottle openers attached to all of their bottles for easier opening. While this sounds like a pain in the ass - I really like going for the beer bottle top. As for their trying to provide spur openers for everyone, let's see a single micro-brewed beer do something awesome like that! This is really a class act and it made me feel special just being able to drink it.

Then why is there only a 9 for the score and not a 10? They forgot a very important thing on the bottle - any idea of how much caffeine is in here. They have a branding, a logo, a slogan, and a fantastic choice of color schemes and fonts that play together nicely, they hid their caffeine content in a proprietary "energy blend". People drink energy drinks for energy, and not to let the customer know exactly what type of boost they are going to find inside your drink (especially a non-standard sized one) ruines what could have been the best energy drink bottle I have seen in years.

Taste:4
Cowboy up is a micro-brewed non-alcoholic drink using barley malt and only sugar coming from the freshly pressed, organic Colorado apples. Also I don't like it. I tried both bottles, and gave out sippy cups to office mates, and the general consensus is that it does not taste good.

Now I did not say it tasted bad, far from that. I have had many bad tasting drinks in the past - things I wold spit out or wince at the thought of tasting. This was not even at that level of badness, it just did not taste that good. I wanted something to taste like a soda, sweet and satisfying. But Cowboy Up did not add enough sweetener to really make it yummy. Also, using all those apples gave this a flavor or fermented apples. The barley malt did not help things out either, giving this even more of a sour fermented flavor and not helping at all with the lack of sweetness. No, I did not like it very much, but it was not nearly so bad that I would not buy one to have around for the chance to carry around the awesome bottle it comes in.

Buzz:7
One thing only using pressed apples does is make this pretty low in calories - around 80. There are no other added sugars in here, nor anything not natural or in any way bad for you. They don't even add preservatives to much things up. You can tell they were being very conscious about nutrition when they put Cowby Up together.

Unfortunately, the buzz was not really there either. They did put a nice energy blend in here - even though we don;t know how much there is of it. Cowboy Up has the usual Vitamin B complex all energy drinks have, plus carnitine and theanine to help with memory focus and concentration. I also liked their addition of 5-HTP, used in many products to help fight depression and also is an appetite suppressant. The unique one in here though is Huperzine A. This drug helps with memory loss in Alsheimers patients, can assist with demetntia, and helps in case of a nerve gas attack. So I guess if I am heading into a crazy battle with some crazed Nazi septuagenarians, I can Cowboy Up and have the upper hand!

I did feel a little life during the first hour or so ofter drinking, but it did not take that much time before I was pounding coffee in the breakroom. The mental focus might have been there a bit too, or that could just be psychosomatic. For all the nutrition in here, I would love it if they doubled the amount of all the energy ingredients. Even if they did not rework the taste I would happily chug it down if it were just a bit more powerful.

Each bottle is only 80 calories with the

There is only so long you can stare at your bedroom ceiling before you go insane. For me that is around 2AM, when I find that I can no longer lie in bed and pretend that sleep is going to happen. After a week of changing gym routines, planning school parties for the kids work and freelance jobs, the stress from the day just could not mellow out enough for me to crash.

Fortunately, I had a bottle of Strip Off Stress PM formula sitting in Bertha, my energy drink fridge. I tried their A.M. Formula, and thought it was pretty tasty, albeit ineffective. I had much higher hopes for their nighttime formula, as it was packed with real relaxing supplements, like chamomile, melatonin and valerian root.

Packaging:9

I even got sleepy just looking at their package. The dark blue gradient background was peaceful, and the fact that the white on light blue writing was very difficult to read did not bother me at all late at night. As a matter of fact, I could not even really pay attention to what it said even if I could read it. I guess if they really cared about people reading their marketing and warnings the white on light blue should probably change, but it certainly seemed peaceful.

I like that it uses a standard soda bottle top, and that menas a wider mouth, so it is easier to both store and drink. I also like how cleanly this shot leaves the bottle. The daytime formula left a grunge around the lid and base of the bottle, but this one looked clean and crisp from start to finish.

Taste:10

I enjoyed the daytime Strip Off Stress enough to expect great things from their night time formula as well. While the other one comes in a Pomegranate Citrus flavor, this only comes in a berry citrus, which is about as very basic a flavor for an energy shot as it gets. Still, I was looking forward to trying it out, and was well rewarded - it tasted even better than their other formula!

This tasted like a cold super delicious shot of berry tea, full of a natural sweetness and such yummy flavor I wished it came in a much larger bottle. If I tried I could taste the berry and the citrus, but if I did not know that was the flavor I easily would have guessed chamomile tea with lemon. Strip Off stress is just barely sweetened, enough to make the drink drinkable without getting sticky or cloying. Even if this was not a sleepy formula I would happily chug this down.

Anti-Buzz:9

One big glug of Strip off Stress and I was mellowed out in a mere ten minutes - and asleep in a half hour! I was not completely crashed out, but gradually got more and more mellow,and in aout thirty to forty minutes I was happily drifting off to sleep. The cool thing is that I did not feel drugged, like I usually do when I take melatonin. This was not at all a chemical sleepiness, but a much more natural and gradual thing.

The proprietary blend is not a terribly strong blend, although I like the ingredients. I have no idea how much lemon balm, grape skin and passion flower are really going to make you sleepy, but I know the valerian and melatonin will. Also added to the mix is a little theanine, which helps give mental focus. Kinda odd to find that sort of ingredient in a sleep drink, as I would imagine brain fogginess is better than focus.

There is only 1383 mg of all ingredients, and seeing as most people who take melatonin for sleep take about 2 grams, this is not the thing to take if you want something fast-acting or something to knock you out. I would absolutely not take this on a plane or when you just need to crash, as you will get sleepy about the time the plane lands or you need to function. However, if you want to just relax from stress and drift off to sleep, this is absolutely perfect.

Back when I was in college, during exam time I mixed together this horrid concoction of Diet Mountain Dew, No Doz and espresso. It wired me to all hell, but of course it was the nastiest thing ever invented. I chalk it up to youth, and the crazy education you get at a sleepy mountain liberal arts college.

Now two Purdue students did it right - coming up with a nice little powder that they could actually market and have their dom mates test for them. They were smart and actually did taste and kick tests out on their friends and it looks like it worked. A friend who tried my swill back twenty years ago still has a hard time drinking Diet Mountain Dew.

Pure Kyk is an energy powder that much like other energy mixes is supposed to be added to the liquid of your choice to caffeinated pretty much anything you choose. Pure Kyk is a small company trying to get their name and drink out to the masses,and does have one big difference than many of the other energy drink mixes out there - power. While most other enegy drink mixes might tread lightly, Pure Kyk sends an impresive blast of caffeine and other energy stuff.

Packaging:6
As a potent drink mix goes, this is not bad designwise. This goes pretty XTREME and veers closely to edgy, but it is a near miss. I do like the color use and the fonts too. The problem is that the rest of the drink info is tiny emough to almost make unreadable.

One of the impossible things to do is to measure out a single serving from the pack. Written in incredibly small lettering on the package you can see that there are two servings in here, with the very impressive caffeine count listed as well. The biggest seller for Kyk is the kick, right? So why not proudly advertise it - and do away with the silly and impossible-to-measure second serving? There really should be a big callout - 300mg of caffeine is an impressive amount to have and it should be more prominent.

Taste:6
Like many powders, I don't take it very easy on the testing. The frst test was to try this by itself - in powder form. I really don't recommend it. I caught how they added a bit of sweetness to try to cut the terribly harsh caffeine flavor, but it really did not work that well. This is NOT encaff - or any micro-encapsulated caffeine blend. You just can not have this without putting it in something. But, you need to put it in the right things too.

First I tried a pack in V8. Baaaadd Idea. Also, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tap water, cold milk, IPA beer, black coffee and Black tea are very very bad ideas.

That being said, some places this worked very nicely. OJ tasted fine. In Mountain Dew it turns the drink orange and tastes yummy. Same holds true for most clear sodas. It does not make Colas undrinkable - but it gets close. It is almost flavorless in a Manhattan, Frozen Margarita or spaghetti and meatballs.

Basically, if the flavor is strong and sweet, Pure Kyk works like a dream. It certainly alters the flavor, but it does not turn bad unless the flavor can not stand getting a bit more chalky and sour. Be careful for the foam it ends to leave on the top of your drink - and be sure it mixes well as well. This is not the best at blending in.

Buzz:10
What more could you possibly want in an energy packet? This is jam packed with 300mg caffeine, B12, Tyrosine, Taurine, Guarana, and a little Yohimbine (it is easy to overdo it on the yohimbine - makes me shake). On top of this, there are no calories, carbs, or sugar. I dont know what else needs to be said for this amazing powerhouse of a powder. This will wire you and for a long time. WEE!

For value, not to mention real street cred, one of the top energy drinks around has to be Knockout Energy. Not only do they provide uncompromising flavor and a decent buzz, they are also fun to carry around in concerts and places people care about what you are drinking. I would pick no other drink for walking around a punk / ska show - as it seems to provide the correct amount of machismo when hanging around grungy messed-up punks. Nothing says "Bring it on even though I am twenty years older than you but I am sure I could still kick your ass if I was not celebrating my daughter's birthday party concert" like a drink called Knockout that has brass knuckles on the front of the can.

I know some people say punk is dead. Those same people say ska is dead. Those people also have no idea what is happening around them, at least according to my 10 year old daughter. She just celebrated her birthday party by taking her and some friends to her favorite band, an incredible post-punk ska band performing at a DIY underground concert venue. She screamed, she moshed - she got hugs from all the bands playing that night. As a special awesome surprise, The headliners dragged her on stage and played Happy Birthday, with tears of joy running down her face. As her father, it was my duty to keep up in the pit with kids 20 years younger than me who did not have a fever and allergies going too. As the song goes, "Here I am, getting older all the time, looking older all the time, feeling younger in my mind" Fortunately, me and two cans of Knockout Low Carb saw me through her birthday night - through the concert, and even into the late-night early morning birthday pinata destruction afterwards.

Packaging:8
This is roughly the same design as the Fruit Punch flavor, which means it has a kick-your-ass fist with with a slightly goth edge. The only real difference is that this one is blue and features a splenda logo on it. It has that $1.00 starburst printed on the top corner of the can, brass knuckles and they helpfully label the caffeine content, wisely killed the asinine paragraph about how this would knock you out with energy or something dumb. It is even Kosher as well. With enough well placed holes (hey - I am 20 years older than anyone at the concert- I know how to cheat head crush a can), it can even be head crushed to show just how seriously hardcore you are.

Taste:9
Knockout Low Carb could have gone the safe route and just made a clone of Red Bull or Monster. Instead this highly carbonated green concoction went for something better. Knockout went for their own unique flavor, though it is based in what you would expect from a light energy drink. This is still riffing off of the normal energy-drink-clone flavor, but this is much lighter and more refreshing to drink than most clones would. This is a little sour and a little sweet, with a very enjoyable smell and an even more enjoyable aftertaste. I was able to have the first one cold, but seeing as the Blast-o-Mat concert venue is dry (no alcohol allowed), the second one had to be drunk warm - although it was still pretty tasty. It is all too easy to finish one can off and start craving a second right after.

Buzz:7
Like the Fruit Punch flavor, this has 160mg of caffeine, the same amount as you will find in a Red Bull or Monster. The thing that makes this extra good is that is is low carb and high carbonation, so you can let out those big burps as you shotgun the can down to show those youngsters that just because you might be twice their age, you could still hang in the pit. My older buddy and I managed to keep my youngster and her friends safe in the front row, even after rounds moshing, skanking and having hoards of angry sweaty teens smashed into us with every hard refrain from the Wall of Horns. It helps that I pounded two of these during the five-band six-hour set - but the lack of calories and the excess of caffeine kept me rocking all night, and barely feeling all the bruises I would most likely find in the morning.

Punk might have started as a way to sell trousers, but watching 100 screaming sweaty and slightly bloodied mohawk and nipple pierced assholes screaming the happy birthday song to my daughter - priceless.

When I first heard about caffeinated nasal spray, I was a little take aback. I have tried caffeine in many forms - including shoving it up my nose with cffeinated snuff. However, I am new to the whole nasal spray product idea entirely, never even knowing such a thing existed until I got to review Turbo Snort.

A short time after, I was approached by a second caffeinated nasal spray product called Stimumist. FOr being the same kind of product, it is pretty interesting how the packaging and buzz differ so much from each other. It is nice to know that for those people that would rather get their buzz from something in a different orifice than the usual one, there are choices out there.

Packaging:8

The packaging does not look all that bad, but it certainly is not up to Turbo Mist standards. For one thing, the bottle itself is not nearly as cool. Not being familiar with the nasal spray category in general, I had no idea that this bottle is the standard for nasal sprays. I just knew that while turbo mist releases a fine mist with a controlled pump - coating the inside of my head with a cool spray of moisture, this stuff comes out like I am squirting water up my nose, which is exactly what I am doing.

The first couple times I tried Stimumist I gave a light pump on the bottle, and barely got anything up my nose at all. So of course I then went for the big pump, and had so much water sloshing around up there it came out the other nostril and kinda burned as it went down the back of my throat. WAAAAAY UNCOOL. After the 20th time or so I figured out the correct squish needed to get just the right amount of liquid up there without sloshing around and burning. Of course, as the bottle was running low I got it wrong a couple of times and ended up feeling like I just cleaned out my head with a neti-pot.

Turns out, the problem was my familiarity with nasal sprays. I headed to the store for a little more data and found that most nasal sprays are like this - which I just don't get. I have seen how they should be - where you get a prescribed dose and it makes you feel more like you are cleaning your brain than sogging up the skull, but Stimumist can not really be faulted for using the industry standard packaging.

Other than that - they did nicely. The design was cool - the dosage was clear, the caffeine was listed and it looks quite lovely. From the original look and feel I saw, this is miles and miles better - a real product I would expect to find in drug stores across America.

Buzz:6

What I found interesting is that for all the work that I put into Stimumist, I did not get the kind of buzz I think I deserved. If I was going to be brave enough to coat the inside of my skull with caffeine, I think i deserved a massive blast of energy. However, the result seemed a whole lot less powerful than that. Instead, it was a light pop of nearly immediate energy, and I really could not take a whole lot at a time either. After about 2 sprays in each nostril, I was good with that feeling for a while. It is not like it stung (except for when I washed my nasal cavities out with it accidentally), but there is only so much wetness my nose can take.

Now that being said, I am not really the user base for this product. I don't think many energy or coffee drinkers are going to give up their morning drink to squirt liquid up their nose instead. You can see just how much this product will get picked up by the general public as a common form of caffeine intake by seeing what happened when I tried using Stimumist on a crowded bus - I parted the sea of commuters like I was Moses.

This is more for people who already use a nasal spray, but want it with a kick. It turns out there are all kinds o nasal sprays out there, and people who live in extra dry climates and are not used to it, snuff users and nose bleeders regularly use nasal spray to get things more moisturized in there. I can totally get why those people would love it coming with a little energy too. I am sure for those moisture-deficient nostrils something like this would be a godsend. But we have entered allergy season, and I am blowing my nose constantly for the next four months anyways, and the last thing I need is even more wetness up there. For the most part, I think personally I will stick to caffeine in other orifices instead.

Every once in a great while, you get hit with an idea that is just so brilliant is seems stupid that no one would have through if it before. Can you imagine being that first dude who connected peanut butter and chocolate, or french fries and shakes? Such food choices are just so commonplace now that you don't even think about it. If you break it down, who would have ever thought that a concoction made of egg yolks, oil, vinegar and mustard would make one of the world's most famous and loved sauces - and when you placed the sauce on bread with bacon, lettuce and tomatoes the gods would come down and bless the combo making it the most perfect sandwich ever?
Well the same holds true for coffee. Coffee is awesome and wonderful and magnificent, but sucks at the gym or when trying to stay healthy and balanced. the problem is that coffee does a very poor job at hydration - it just sucks a person dry. Caffeine in general works the opposite of hydrating the body, thanks to some compounds inside that cause something called astringency. With coffee, it’s the chlorogenic acid sucking that moisture out of you. The acid is very beneficial to your health, but also makes you thirstier.

Enter Coconut water. Besides being the new health fad, coconut water has high levels of electrolytes and potassium keep your body balanced, and if you believe in the stuff (I don't, particularly) drinking the antioxidant rich water will stave off free radicals over time. This takes all of what coffee has been missing and balances it out, and does it deliciously too.

Packaging:9
This arrived at my door in a big old box, looking much like what you would find coming off a plantation. The Western font and faded yellow packaging really helped sell the exotic-ness of the package. inside were these cool tetra-packs of beautifully designed coffee. Tetra packs are an interesting choice to go with too. These are the boxed drinks that you see on muscle milks and other boxed liquids. If you are going more green this makes sense, as tetra packs have long been known for sustainability, earth friendliness and all that goodness. Not to mention, Vita Coco, a recent investor in their company, also comes in a box with much the same shape. Whenever I see a small paper box with a foil lid, I really want a straw to drink it with. When I haded the drink two two different friends, they both asked me if a straw came with it too, so I know it was not just me.

The Box itself was just beautiful - reminding me of a rum label or a sunscreen. This captured the fun of a tropical drink, as well as the functionality of an espresso drink. You can tell that some real though went into the planning of this design, from their silly but very easy to read western fonts to the ingredients list.

The only thing that I found odd was they had taped over the "Organic, Fair Trade and Gluten Free" words at the bottom. This makes me wonder if they thought this was gluten free and was not, or if they got in trouble with the Fair Trade people over the use of that wording.

Taste:10
There are just a few ingredients in this Coco Cafe. They add to their (maybe) organic fair trade espresso coconut water from Indonesia, milk, organic evaporated cane juice (organic sugar), carrageenan (this is actually a seaweed, and a thickener used in everything from gravies to chocolate milk) and a mysterious natural flavor. The mix turns out to be absolutely impeccable - even to th coffee snobs I let sample the drink.

There is something about the nuttiness from the coconut which is a perfect marriage with the bold coffee and sugar. It was nice and creamy without being overly so, and I did not even taste a small hint of preservatives, something common in many coffee drinks. Coco Cafe tastes like a vacation - like something you get to have on special occasions, like going out for Polynesian food or sitting next to a pool. Like Nutella and bacon, once you try out the combo you will not know why you never thought of it before.

Buzz:9
Coco Cafe does not use any outside caffeine besides the espresso base. Not that it needs much. One of these drinks provides a very nice boost, and if you dare to drink down two of these, you will definitely feel the buzz! Depending on your caffeine tolerance, this will give you about as much energy as a double shot of espresso - maybe a bit less. For being a straight on coffee drink, I was impressed by the energy it gave me, and how I felt after drinking it too.

I thought with the coconut water this would make a good gym drink, but not really so much. There are almost 7 grams of protein which could help with a muscle workout, and the 140 calories are low enough to not interfere with diets or health plans, but it just did not seem gym worthy when I brought it with me. It just did not fit. The texture was too thick to be taking when doing aerobics, and it was not shake-y enough to really feel right while lifting - it was just unsatisfying. For post-workout this is a natural, able to re-hydrate and give you what you need without negating all your time working out.

With Coco Cafe now expanding into stores all over (expect Whole Foods and Trader Joes to eat this one up) There is no doubt you will see this one pop up all over in stores near you soon. And, if you like a good tropical coffee drink this is a no-brainer.

Since being able to experience CocoCafe Coconut Water Latte, I have been thinking about all the other cool flavors of coffee drinks that might work together. Bananas and coffee might be cool - and other fruity flavors lie Mango and cherry might work too. Actually, savory coffee drinks might be a surprise hit - like Clamato Juice. While I have yet to find a bacon coffee drink or beefy canned coffee, I did find Iced Bhakti Chai Coffee, a mix of black chai tea and coffee - for a very unique and surprisingly yummy combo.

Normally, tea and coffee makes for a bad mix, as the coffee is far too bitter and srong to handle being mixed into something subtle and delicate like tea. Chai tea is especially fragile. For those who have never experienced Chai tea, it is one of the few sincere simple pleasures on earth. How anyone could have found that perfect combo of ginger and sweet spices to create chai is beyond me, but they aught to have achieved sainthood. Bhakti Chai is surprisingly delicious by itself, so the thought of working it with a strong coffee is a pretty mouth watering idea.

"Bhakti means devotion through social action, so the company has been committed to social action through sustainable practices, purchasing only fair trade tea, and supporting local and international nonprofit organizations," says says Brook Eddy, founder and owner of the Boulder-based company. It is very very obvious this is a drink born in the Country of Boulder Colorado. As any good Boulder Colorado company does, they give a chunk of their profits to a charity, albeit ones which have nothing to do with Chai, the Global Fund for Women and Girls Education International. I guess giving to female charities is appealing to female chai drinkers than donating to Indian or Pakistan.

Packaging:3
There are all sorts of things wrong with this bottle - the biggest of which is that it comes from the Republic of Boulder. Often referred to as "25 square miles surrounded by reality", Boulder is known for being so far left that even even bleeding-heart liberals like myself find their rules ridiculous to the point of obnoxiousness. For example, on the package they actually tell you that this is "RE-Usable Bottle?" They go on to say this is Sustainable Packaging! Really? I should refill my dirty unwashable empty glass bottle with water? Craziness! Unless you are calling this re-usable because you are going to keep filling up my bottle with Chai, that is just over the top - making this the most annoying and downright offensive paragraph labels out there (and if you have ever read the back of a can of monster, it takes a lot to be more obnoxious). Well, coming from a place where they considered Bike Speeding

Once you get past the label, the actual design and layout of the bottle does not make much sense. Did you know this drink is ICED? Well you should be cause ICED is the biggest boldest text on here - and this is packed with unnecessary text. Next to the words "Coffee Blend" it has a bizzarre bubble worded "Cold-Brewed Coffee Added" in case we missed the words Coffee Blend right next to it. They have a sticker telling you to remove the label and reuse, which is great if you like carrying around old water bottles with half peeled shredded labels on them. There is a Fair Trade and Colorado Proud label which is decent, but under the heading "Brewed in Boulder Colorado" it has in huge capital letters "GLUTEN FREE, DAIRY FREE, LOW-FAT,VEGAN" Now if you have ever heard of Boulder Colorado, you would not need to add this, because of course it is all those things! In the healthiest town in America, it would be surprising if it were not all those things.

One nice thing I did find, after examining the package for a good 20 minutes is an actual caffeine content listing! Of course it is the tiniest text on here and stuck on the side of the nutrition label, but seeing it there does make me feel a little less frustrated with the whole affair.

Taste:10
Truthfully, I had my reservations going into this. It was not made with any milk - like a god chai is, and instead uses Soy. Also, coffee and tea just do not play together - like lemon juice and milk. Coffee is just too rich and bitter and tea is just to nuanced and light to ever really work.

However, Bhakti Chai managed to pull it off very nicely. If you have ever had a real Chai (Tazo and Starbucks don't count) you will know the flavor here - a very zesty and almost peppery ginger flavor with heavy notes of cardamom and a little clove. This is a fully rounded chai - and the coffee only helps flesh the drink out. The balance of sweet and spicy and rich coffee is good enough that the whole soy/milk thing does not matter, and only the deliciousness of the blend matters. To accomplish this wonderwork, they use a cold-brew process for their coffee, like making a toddy, using Organic Fair Trade Peruvian coffee. By cold-brewing, the fresh coffee is 70% less acidic and far less bitter than hot-brewed coffee. They then mix that with their own chai recipe for something truly special.

Buzz:7
Bhakti Chai gives a couple different kids of buzz. Firstly, there is the buzz of a cold happy drink in your tummy -one that leaves a bit of zing on your throat and makes you smile. I know this is not abou the caffeine, but like downing a big shot of spirulina, something about this Chai just made me feel all cool and fuzzy inside.

On top of that is the caffeine content - showing up with a decent 84mg in the 16 ounce bottle. For a tea based drink that ain't too shabby. This s still not anywhere near coffee-level caffeine amounts however. As a matter of fact, the Coffee only adds an additional 8mg of caffeine per bottle, leaving this about half as strong as an energy drink, and a third less than a comparable cup of the aforementioned Peruvian roast of coffee. The sugar rush in here was nice but very unexpected. If I did not care about all the calories in here I could easily see knocking back a couple of these a day.

Like many natural foods, jut because it is healthy does not mean it is nutritious. Eating a stick of butter made from non-GMO healthy organic cow's milk is just as bad as eating a stick of butter from any other milk. In this case, not skimping on the quality of ingredients is made up for in calorie count. There are 300 vegan gluten-free calories packed in this drink, more than what you would find in a comparable Starbucks, Bigelow or Adina bottled chai drinks. On top of that, this drink has 42 grams of Organic Evaporated Cane Juice (you know, the rest of the world calls that sugar), which comes down to about 10 teaspoons, or just a little more than your full daily allowance of added sugar.

The rush is minor but there is enough caffeine and sugar to make it worthy for an afternoon pick me up when you need a little sunshine in your life. Sure, this drink might be heavy enough to enjoy as a only-sometimes treat and you might have to pour it into a glass to get away from the obnoxious packaging, but Iced Bhakti Chai Coffee is amazingly tasty, and one of the better coffee combos out there.

The field of energy drinks seem to be mellowing out, now that most players realize you need something special to take on the big boys of Coke, Pepsi, Red Bull and Rockstar. There were just too many me-toos out there for the market can hold. An energy drink that does not stand out clearly from the crowd is a bona-fide failure.

Knockout energy punch is one of those brands. Where this makes its mark is by performing two things well. Firstly, it costs as much as a soda and secondly it tastes really really good. This is a value drink that forgot it was a value drink, coming up with a kick-ass energy drink that can rival any Fruit Punch flavored drink out there in flavor and buzz, while managing to be at least half the cost.

Packaging:8
From a small distance, the only way that you can tell that this drink is not right there with your Rockstars and Monsters is from the $1.00 starburst printed on the top corner of the can. The rest of the can is very lovely, with a great logo of a fist with brass knuckles and a cool logo. I love the colors and the in-your-faceness of it. I even enjoy the silly starburst, as I know they did this for the same reason Arizona teas did it years ago. This forces the retailer to sell this for less than they would normally sell an energy drink for. They very helpfully label the caffeine content, wisely killed the asinine paragraph about how this would knock you out with energy or something dumb. It even went and got certification from the Orthodox Union so it is as Kosher as well.

There is so much going for this can it hard to be critical, but for all the right things it has, it also suffers from confusing wording and cheap packaging. Next to the starburst it prints "plus tax to the Man". What does this mean exactly? Don't most people already know there is tax on sodas now? And who is The Man in this case? The whole wording seems unnecessary and it is a little weird to call it 'The man' too. just a plain +tax would suffice if there needed to be anything there at all.

Also, there are little brass knuckled hands in the background, and the cheap printing really shows here - leaving little fuzzy dot matrixed images in the background. The can would look a whole lot more professional if they removed the background and hid their cheaper can printing, rather than going with a more high quality output.

Taste:9
This is as good a fruit punch as I have ever had, comparable to the yumminess of Boo Koo's punch, full of fake fruity goodness. when you first open, you get a nice big whiff of sour cherry, followed by Hawaiian Punch mix. Knockout Fruit Punch give off this big smell of warm Summer glasses of Kool Aid. The carbonation is very strong - enough to make this drink bubbly and refreshing instead of the syrupy mouthful I was expecting.

This tastes about as far from real fruit as it gets, opting for a candy berryish flavor with enough tartness from the acid to give nice little bite too. You have to judge a drink like this by the audience, and this if just what a fruit punch energy drink should be - like a melted hard candy with no bitterness or harshness.

Buzz:6
This is right on par with all the others, which is a little disappointing. I understand that they were trying to be the same as the big players only cheaper, but they could have brought even more to the table with their energy buzz. There is 160mg of caffeine, as much as you can find in most of the other energy drinks out there, along with the predictable taurine, and B vitamin overload. There was no other energy nutrients in here, like inositol, aminos or any of the other stuff you usually find in energy drinks, but that is OK by me too. As long as there is my sweet sweet caffeine I am a happy boy. I do like that they use regular sugar and not High Fructose Corn Syrup, there is still quite enough preservatives to make health not really a concern. This is as bad for you as any soda - which just means this should be more of a treat than an every day guzzler.

While they could have stepped it up a bit in the buzz and printing, overall Knockout energy gives me the one-two punch of value and taste that makes me want to get more. I can forgive the prints and the average buzz enough to make this a new addition to my energy drink stockpile. Fortunately, I heard they have a store near me that sells these, so I am off to a local grocery store to stock up.

I have had quite a lot of stressful happening in my life recently. A change in jobs and scenery and life, coupled with trying to throw together a trip, an epic party at my kid's school and a bar mitzvah have left me feeling a bit frazzled at night. This of course leads to caffeine during the wrong times of the day, and crazy non-sleeeping hours in the middle of the night.

This also led to me thinking it was a good idea to drink an Unwind right in the middle of a hectic day - thinking it would help me get a bit more relaxed. I mainly opened this because I felt like something tasty while balancing out the new Deathwish Coffee I had jolting through my system. I was feeling a little too buzzy and wanted something to just put my mellow on. Instead, I found myself taking a drooling nap in the middle of my living room floor with my children literally jumping upon my prone body.

Packaging:7
Much like the grovy orange Unwind, this is a very minimalist design - just a big circle and gradient purple like some album cover by Tangerine Dream. The text is lost in the gradient, making the "ultimate relaxation" text nearly invisible. The rest of the copy is decent, although by holding the can the other direction, it spells out Puimun, The name of an amazing fantasy artist who does brilliant art at http://www.shadowscapes.com.

They did do a good job of listing ingredients - and I like it that they listed the amount of melatonin they used too, just so people can know when enough is enough. There also is no double facing of the can, so it is harder to face for convenience store workers to be sure the logo faces out. The can is very close to being very tight. If they just made that text pop a bit more and put their logo on the backside, this would be even more groovy.

Taste:10
While the valencia orange version of Unwind was good, the grape is even better. It is like a standard grape and berry drink - but it is deeper and complex than any normal soda you have encountered. It could be the extra tea ingredients or it could be the goji, but I found the taste of this nearly irresistible. Far past the point that I knew this was going to put me under I still could not stop drinking it. I had to be a little careful as it was slipping from my fingers as I was going under - but I did not want to waste a drop of this deliciousness.

I did not think they could top themselves with a grape flavor, a pretty standard flavor for relaxation drinks - but this grape is more earth and complex than the valencia flavor, which is really saying something. If it were not for the fact that it knocked me out faster than a me picking a fight with Manny Paquio I would drink this just for the hell of it all the time.

Buzz:10
I know this is called unwind, but it did a whole lot more than unwinding me and just sorta left me a pool of goo on the floor. By the end of the slim 12 ounce can, I ended up feeling like if I did not take a nap one was going to provided for me. For some reason, this hit me more than the other times I tried it - maybe because I am chronically sleep deprived. Either way, this completely knocked me on my ass for a good couple hours.

This was formulated with a whole lot of good and yummy things that are supposed to help you calm down - like Valerian root, rose hips, and passion flower. While these ingredients are nice and all, the real punch comes from 3mg of melatonin, a fantastic sleep aid that works wonders. 3mg of it is enough to cause a pretty serious crash in me, and is a little higher than the doses you see over the counter at a drugstore.

I can honestly say that the next time I am having a hard time shutting my brain off, turning to a can of Unwind will be a very welcome treat.

One of my favorite energy drink companies in the entire world is Battery Energy, and they know it. I am in love with the drinks, I am in love with the company, I am in love with their image - they can do little wrong in my eyes. It does not hurt that they spent over a year trying to finagle customs enough to send me a box of all their stuff, straight from their headquarters in Finland. But even through the sappiness that is bound to follow - there is a reason I love them - it is because they belong to a handful of energy drink companies who really get it - their fans - their product and what it is they do. Sometimes when there is a perfectly handcrafted set of products, these should be honored accordingly. I mean - they are the official sponsor of finnish metal bad Nightwish - who is also been around for 15 epic years.

The first of their newest products I am trying is their new energy + hydration drink, Hydro Battery. This is supposed to be used in the gym, to help with getting your body moving enough to go to the gym, stamina to make it through the workout and then recover when you are done. All this in a 13.5ounce bottle.

Packaging:9
Of course the biggest bummer here is that they had to give up on their battery-style packaging. It just is not right to e carrying around a workout drink in an aluminum can, so it makes sense that they moved to a water-bottle-shaped holder - although it is still sad. They did their best to dress it up though, having it be in a thick opaque black, rather than the usual colored translucent these usually come in.

Of course being directly from their headquarters means there is all sorts of fun writing on the package too! There is writing in 3 languages - none of them english. At least I think there are 3. MY favorite is the circle telling you that Pantti Panting this will save you 0,20 monetary units. I have no idea what that monetary unit is, or why it relates to something that sounds like college freshmen to to girls dorms as a prank. Unfortunately, it looks like it is just telling you to recycle, which is a letdown. It does, however, list caffeine content as well as all the other stuff - which I really do appreciate.

Taste:8
Battery comes out a caramel color brown - which was expected, although a bit plain. The odor of the liquid was nice enough - smelling of a tart Red Bull. The bigger question is if it could be taken while running on the treadmill, as most sports drinks turn out to be too glacky and ticky for really using at the gym.

Hydro isn't as lemony as their original flavor - but is still quite tart and refreshing. It reminds me most of a carbonated lemonhead, only the light carbonation helps get this down quicker. I easily sucked down the bottle - which was sad, in a way. I wish this came in a bigger container - just so I could enjoy more of it.

Buzz:9
Battery Hydro combines three functionalities in one product: energy, hydration and recovery. On the energy end this has a bunch of B and C vitamins and caffeine. Now they list this as having 32mg of caffeine per 100ml, and this is a 13.5 ounce container. Seeing that there are 3.38 ounces to 100ml, that means there is around 130mg of caffeine in this bottle, which is not too shabby. It is enough to help make you get to the gym if you are needing that extra push - and not so much that you are left jittering around the gym. Although this does not work as just a plain energy drink terribly well, for what it's function is, this gets the job done.

It also gets the job done on the hydration front too. I got to try two bottles of this out - and found that the recovery portion of this drink works like a dream. The magnesium in Battery Hydro is what helps to recover from workouts faster - and it really works like a dream. There is enough to completely rehydrate me after a good solid run. I had the other bottle during a big bout of sickness, when the only thing that sounds good is soup and gatorade. This stuff got me moving better than it really should have - as I spent the morning running errands and cleaning the house rather than napping and resting. It just made me feel normal again.

I love that Battery has stepped up to the plate with a workout drink - and something very worthy as well. Forget Angry Birds, Finland should find a way to have this drink be the hit social export for their country.

Amp is in for a complete overhaul, and I think their new direction is right non the money. They are dropping their whole XTREME edge in favor of a more functional one - and I will bet they are gaining some fans in the process. For being a Pepsico drink, they did pretty well on their brand overhaul.

The first flavor that I was able to get my hands on is their new Focus formula - which comes in a very pretty shiny can. The While this is not a huge stretch for Pepsi, I do appreciate the shift in focus and was pretty excited to give it a shot. I like the idea of an energy drink that not only gives you physical energy but mental focus as well.

Packaging:9
Everything from the logo to the theme has been re-imagined here. The little zoom-lines have been replaced with clear easy-to-read text letting you know what and when to take this particular supplement. I like the straightforward approach - with a very clear and concise can. The new design is very well suited to its purpose, and I appreciate it actually not reaching for the XTREME crowd.

Functionally, it works well too. There is a listing of caffeine as well as every other nutrient, double face the can, and even try to get their lid on straight. Everything is printed nicely and cleanly, and there is a lack of idiotic paragraphs explaining to the consumer how cool they are for buying this drink.

Taste:8
This is not the first Amp drink to have theanine in it - they tried it once before with their Elevate drink. Strangely, Elevate also had a berry flavor. This tastes almost exactly like the old elevate - giving off a distinct cranberry/grape taste. Like the old Elevate, I really liked this flavor, although it could get heavy and a bit syrupy when it gets warm. Truthfully, I just don't think bromated veggie oil has any place in sodas in general. I can always tell when it gets added, as the drink gets actually oily and flatter quickly too.
I am still happy that Amp went a different direction from the usual Monster/Red Bull clone and came out with a flavor that was a little off the mainstream. However, it could be made eve tastier if they lost the heavy thickness of the drink.

Buzz:6
Like many other energy drinks, this has the standard 160mg per serving. Even more strangely, it has almost verbatim the ingredients of the old Elevate. It has caffeine from both regular and Guarana, and 300mg Taurine, 34mg Ginseng, and the usual overdose B vitamins. The big difference is the addition of Choline to the mix. Truthfully, I could barely feel the caffeine in here, as the energy is quickly consumed and done with. Choline is a new one for me in energy drinks, and one which seems to be one of those cure-alls they use for everything from aging to cario-vascular health. I am not sure how much that will help an energy drink - but it is good to see in there in any case.

The only issue I have is with the lack of anything actually healthy in ehre. There is a ton of high fructose corn syrup, preservatives and artificial flavors in here - enough that I crashed pretty hard after my initial light rush. Still, for a brand change, they could have done a whole lot worse

I came upon Death Wish coffee through another product, one I stumbled upon and have instantly fallen in love with. Not since the invention of Thomas Dolby's mind has there been such a good combination between the creative and the scientific. While in Dolby's case the result was musical, at the Funranium Labs, the result is highly caffeinated. While I am working at trying to get to try some Black Blood of the Earth for a review, I was sent some of the coffee he uses to produce some of the World's most dangerous coffee product. To create this, he used some of Death Wish Coffee in hi desire to produce the strongest and most intense and drinkable coffee in the world.

To explain Death Wish coffee properly, I need to relate a story that happened to me many years ago on a trip to Denmark. I went there alone at 18, and got to wander the street of Copenhagen all by myself. Seeing as I was given all this freedom and personal responsibility, I thought I should do what any 18-year-old American would do and try to buy some alcohol.

Fortunately, it was legal for 18-year-olds to buy and consume beer there, so I proceeded to ask the guy in the liquor store for a very dark beer. Not speaking any English - he mistook the word dark for strong, and rather than knocking back 3 or 4 healthy thick Ølfabrikken Porter's, I found myself drinking Elephant Beer, the 9% alcohol Danish equivalent to Mickey's Malt Liquor. Instead of exploring new and unique cultures sipping a spicy intense mature beer, my first legal drinking experience had me blundering around downtown Copenhagen on a quest to find salted pretzels and trying not to look like the dumbass teenage tourist I am sure I was.

Basic truth; dark and rich very rarely equals powerful and strong.

Exactly the same thing happens with coffee - only probably without the salty snacks. You know that amazing delicious full bodied Italian roasted Americano you love that much? Good luck getting a buzz from it. Most of that really strong coffee has had all that sweet sweet caffeine roasted out of it. It is a pretty well known fact that your Arabica Fair trade organic Whole Foods coffee has much less caffeine content than that barely drinkable swill you can find at your local truck stop, which for all it's nastiness is just packed chock full of energy. The cheap Robusta coffee they use to cut Folgers and other blends to make them cheaper is way more caffeinated - even through they taste bitter and chalky. If you want a really tasty cup of coffee that also has some power behind it - you are in for a hard time.

That is unless you turn to a product like Death Wish Coffee. Unlike Revv Coffee or others that boost their caffeine content by adding guarana or other external caffeinated substances to their coffee, Death Wish Coffee purports to have found a coffee bean with close to 200% the amount of caffeine as your typical coffee shop coffee. They roast it to a medium-dark for a strong and robust flavor and then sell it in ground bags. The result is a very good, lightly acidic very very perky coffee that you don't have to even give up your conscience to buy. Their coffee is still Fair Trade and Organic and all that, but actually gets you wired like a Big Gulp cup sized Farmers Brothers coffee would give you. I heard that they do sell the full bean variety too, but mine were all ready to dump in the coffeepot on arrival.

The bag itself is pretty amusing, a giant black container with a Death Wish sticker showing a skull and crossbones are on the front, the top and the back too. The one on the bag informs the drinker that "you probably can't handle it's flavor and intensity." Even with the misuse of the word "its", the back of the package is both a great warning and terribly amusing too. While this is not as sophisticated as a bag of Shock Coffee, it is loads more mature than Meth coffee - both ground coffees with extra power in them.

As for the flavor, I can say that the roaster definitely knows their trade. This is a phenomenal rich dark coffee - and though I usually prefer lighter roasts, this is a great dark and very silky flavor - not even getting glose to the burnt bitter flavor of many darker roast coffees. There is also the fact that this is Organic coffee, which really ends up tasting better - smoother. Also being Fair Trade is just easy on the conscience, but Organic coffee actually tastes better. Death Wish has a sweetness and much less bitterness than you normally find in a coffee this dark. It has the nuttines of a much lighter coffee, and does not have the oiliness of a dark coffee either.

I have an idea how they did this - but it is just an hypothesis. I don't think Robusta coffees necessarily have to be bad. What if someone found a way to grow a Robusta blend that actually tasted good?Truthfully, I have no earthly idea how they managed to accomplish this - but it works - really really works. I feel all sorts of sad that the bag is gone and I have to go back to my boring Sunflower Market coffee now, or spend the expense for more of the good stuff, although Death Wish daily can get a bit pricey.

Packaging:9 Taste:10 Buzz:10

There are two kinds of coffee for me to drink in the morning, both serving very different ends. I love REAL coffee, although those cups are reserved for specific times. I love my Pinon Nut Fair-Trade Organic Shade grown single farm beans, but I need the time to actually enjoy something that succulent. There is that kind of coffee made for sitting down and sipping, basking in the flavors and getting dirty with. There is something special about taking a short walk to the local coffeehouse for a specially made espresso just the way you like it.

And then there are times you just need a freakin' coffee. If I am on the go and working early or late and need to get my ass in gear, nothing beats a quick slug of something brown and caffeinated. I don't want fancy or creamy or luxurious - I just want a cup of coffee. K-cups are very good for that - as I can brew a kind just for me to drink - and I can slug down something hot and tasty without other workers finishing the pot, forgetting to turn it on, leaving it to burn or most offensively, thinking it it is funny to make Decaf for everyone in the office and not tell anybody.

To that end, I am enjoying my work's newest fun toy, the Keurig K-Cup Coffee machine. I tried it out before when Folgers and Millstone sent me samples of their K-Cups to try out. I was intrigued when one of my co-workers brought in a pack of Revv coffee - one of the over 200 varieties there are for these machines. I have tried about 2 dozen of these coffees before, and though none of them come even close to something I would want to savor or have on a weekend, I am intrigued by the idea of being able to pack more buzz into my morning Joe. When I called up Green Mountain, they told me they had a new even stronger k-cup I could try out - Revv Pulse - with added pep from guarana and ginseng. Fast, Convenient and more caffeine - Woot!

From the very start of opening the sample box from them I knew I had something special on my hands. Of course how special was a complete mystery - which I particularly found annoying. I am sure that they could not put the caffeine amount on their cups - as the caffeine in coffee can vary wildly depending on the blend of beans (and this is definitely a blend of many kinds of arabica beans) to the roast and everything inbetween. However, they should know the amount of caffeine they add in as an extra oomph from the guarana - as I am sure that is measured out to the milligram.

The whole idea behind the Revv line is that they pack 30% more coffee inside their little packs, so there is even more coffee inside your coffee. I appreciate that. I even applaud that! Yes, just adding more ground does not necessarily make for a better cup of coffee, but it makes for a bigger kick to my befuddled morning brain. The interesting thing is that while adding more coffee grounds to a smaller cup usually means you end up with just bad bitter coffee, this is not really the case here. Compared to other strong rich K-cup coffees this does not taste that much different. I definitely smelled a sweetness with a whole lot of fruit, and the flavor was very mellow. I easily drank through the entire box they sent me in a few weeks, making short work of the easy-on-the-tongue individual brews. To be sure, I did a blind taste test between this and the regular Revv line, and I could barely taste any difference.

Sometimes it is fine to be a coffee snob and get flavors akin to a real Italian Americano, but for those mornings when you are just needing your cupa joe, this will get you hoppin! This will definitely get your blood pumping in a very big way - and you can feel the difference. Two pods of this, brewed using the smallest water size, makes for one heck of a powerful punch. If you have joined the K-Cup revolution, chances are you are looking for a quick half-decent jolt of coffee - and Revv Pulse will certainly do the trick.

Samba 99 is one of the more unique energy products I have seen. I have tried energy bars before, but this is the first one I have had that was basically energized pulp. If you are god with dried fruits, then you might just be a fan of Samba 99. From the start this product stands out from any others on the shelf, coming in a Toblerone-esque box. You open the box, and slide out the pulp, open the plastic casing and dig right in.

Packaging:4
Firstly, there is the name - Samba99. There are 3 different flavors of Samba99, and only one of them is caffeinated. None of them have anything at all to do with dancing the samba, except of course that the Samba is a brazilian dance and the snack is full of brazilian fruits. The owner mentioned that he went for this marketing scheme because he wanted the fruit bar to appeal to women as much as men. Well, I am not sure how much sticking hot bikini-clad babes is going to be appealing to women - unless they are insecure or lesbians. However, the same marketing tactic seems to work for perfume and jeans ads so maybe I just don't understand how advertising works.

According to their literature and website, this bar was supposed to be themed on Capoiera, a brazilian martial art/dance. Capoiera has had a rich cultural heritage since playing ( they call sparring matches playing) has become legalized (Capoiera was created by African salves in Brazil, and was forbidden to practice or learn about) a number of years ago, but is not really made for the Sarah Michelle Gellar types on the front of this package. Check out an example of some people playing Capoiera to see just how out of place the boxing badass girl is to the scene. The Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer looking hottie was on the inside of the box as well as a "collectable photo" which is downright goofy. No one would want to collect a photo of a girl with lines and packaging marks on it even if they did find her cute.

The other big problem I saw is the lack of listing the caffeine added to the box. While there is listing of guarana, but that amount is completely useless. More useless are the slogans about how you will "really feel it", "Feel the Oomph" and such. This would have worked much better without the hot "babe of the month", addition of caffeine content and silly slogan.

Taste:7
This comes in a big gooey triangle - much like the outside of the box suggests. It unwraps from its plastic casing easy enough and reveals a very fruity scent, along with a big black glop of slightly squishy stuff. I could not help but be reminded of the Time Bandits scene where the boy is yelling to his parents who were holding a big chunk of black goo "Mom- Dad - Dont touch it! It's Evil!" In my case I did touch it, and it had the squishy firm texture of a super-hardened jelly. This triangular chunk of gummy pulp smelled and on first taste reminded me of an ultra thick Fruit Roll Up.

I can not be quite sure, but I think I liked it. The flavor is unique enough that I could not really get a grasp on whether or not I actually enjoyed it. This is not one of those snacks that you can pin down on the first try - and it kinda grows on you. The flavor itself is awesome, it is just the texture of biting into what amounts to a giant chewy gummy block that I am not sure of. I do think I would like to give it another try if I ever saw it - but I am not quite sure I am a fan yet either. The closest flavor I could come to in this would be prunes - or maybe figs. It has that earthy deep flavor that is not normally found in everyday fruits and berries.

Buzz:8
Theere is about 150mg of caffeine in here from the guarana pulp. I should have felt something from this, but on both occasions I felt no real boost. It could be because the body processes this slower than it would process a drink, or it could be that my tolerance levels have gone up this week. I should have felt more peppy - but I think I might need a higher dose. That being said, I DO think 150mg is a nice amount to have in here. I am not sure a higher boost of caffeine would help, plus it might start screwing with the cost. Don't expect a blast of energy from this though - more of a sustained and gradual lift over a couple hours than a rush over a short time.

In terms of nutrition, this absolutely rocks! This has very few ingredients, and all of them are soecial. The bar only contains organic Cacao pulp, organic Bacuri pulp, organic sugar, guarana, pectin and citric acid. While chocolate is made from the fermenting seeds of the cacao fruit, the pulp of the fruit is actually nothing like chocolate - it is yellow, slippery, and a bit less dense than an apple. The pulp gives this some fiber, as well as Vitamin C and Iron too.

Rockstar energy very rarely do their drinks half-assed. They are usually right on the money or they fall on their face. Rockstar Iced is one of those drinks that just hit the nail on the head; great packaging, fantastic flavor and a lovely kick that keeps you going for as long as you need it. With all of the new flavors of Rockstar that are churning out it might be hard to keep up - but out of the pack this one stands a clear winner.

Packaging:9

The gold and white can leaps out in front of the other cans in the energy drink case - screaming for your attention. Of course some might call this gaudy, but in the face of an energy-drink population, being a little excessive it forgivable. The can color is brass - which on black and white pops out more than if they used a shiny gold like many drinks in the past. If you look closely at the can you can see the exceptionally close attention to detail they put into the can and the quality of the printing job. The Rockstar logo is in a slightly different metal shininess which gives the entire drink can a slight distressed and mottled look, while the white lettering of their logo and the ICED wording have sparkles embedded which gleam in the sun. All in all, this is a terribly impressive label.

On top of that, it is funtional too. They call out all the drinks function (energy + tea + Hydration), the benefit (Only 10 calories, hydrating) and the nutrition and caffeine content without resorting to asinine buzzword heavy paragraphs telling you how XTREME it is. All this while being very easy to read and double facing the design too, this is about as good an energy drink can could get and still be in aluminum.

Taste: 9

I knew from the start what type of drink I was getting into from the can - a non-carbonated tea based tea flavored low calorie drink. What I was not expecting was for it to actually taste juicy. This mentioned a peach flavor, but there was a texture in here and a real sweetness I did not think was possible with using only inositol and sucralose.

The lightness of the flavor and the chill gave me a flashback to those summer months I spent knocking back Arizona peach teas like they we going contraband. The 16 ounce can easily slid down my throat as the can was emptied in about four gulps. If It was not as cold as it was I might have managed to suck down the entire can in one go - it was just that smooth and delicious. I am just glad this does not come in gallon-jug size

Buzz:9

The power of a Rockstar is always unpredictable. They have real powerhouses in their arsenal, but just as usual they wimp out and go for a less powerful blend. Fortunately, Rockstar Iced is no slouch. There is 240mg of caffeine in here, as well as a host of other energy ingredients. There is the usual B vitamin overload, 2 grams of taurine, as well as Ginseng and carnitine too.

What makes this really stand out is they packed electrolytes in here too - so it will actually quench thirsts as warmer months set in. While I doubt this reaches Gatorade style amounts of re-hydration, it still provides more rejuvenation than your average energy drink can.

I drank this on a particularly hard day - one where my sleep was interrupted and I needed a constant caffeine dose to get me throuht he day - and this powered me for a good 4 hours before sliding off to sleep. More than anything else, I think it will be a challenge to not over-caffeinated myself as I could easily drink two or three of these beauties off in a day.

Let me set the record straight. I really like Lester Fixins and the soda he makes. I have tried Lester's Corn Soda (yes, corn soda - it tastes like carbonated cream corn) and loved it so much I thought I needed to drink some salty butter with it. Lester also makes a Hot Wing soda that taste just like chicken wings (spicy hot wing chicken parts - how did he do that??), a Pumpkin Pie soda and other down-home treats bottles and carbonated to a strangely yummy goodness. Lester Fixins is a brand created by the chain of Rocket Fizz soda shops - of which there are many opening around the country. This one was from my local Rocket Fizz - of which I have yet to ever make it out without loading my arms full of delicious candy and crazy soda pop.

That being said, you could not pick a worse coffee soda if you drug Coca Cola Blak out from it's deserved grave. Lester Fixins coffee soda is so bad it makes you cry a little at its sheer offensiveness. It is so so against all that your coffee taste buds hold dear - and the fact that it is supposed to taste like coffee makes me mad as hell. Lester, you done me way wrong on this one. I have had some bad coffee before - even Down Home coffee brewed in the middle of Oklahoma gas stations, and none of them have ever tasted like this crap before.

Packaging:5
I get it that this is supposed to have a nice middle-america feel. That is why the packaging is so sparse, and on the front is an old fashioned restaurant cup of coffee. I have waited tables for many many years, and looking at the cup on front really brings me back. I must have filled thousands of these white restaurant cups pictured on the front, and all of them were filled with either Folgers or Farmers Brothers coffees - so we are not talking cream of the crop arabica beans. This pretty much summed it up for me - and I was hoping for a coffee soda that tasted like a Middle America coffee from then on. I liked Lester's face and that he was the Colonel Sanders of my forays into unusual soda - however a listing of caffeine content could have been nice.

Taste:2
The closest thing I can find to this flavor is if you mixed a fake cheap knockoff coffee candy with Sprite. This is certainly sweet, but also sour and tangy - things coffee should never ever be. I have never had a coffee soda that tasted so little of coffee. Besides that - it did not even taste very good. While I understand that the whole idea of Lester Fixins is novelty soda, there is not much novelty in coffee sodas, in that I have had quite a few. Stick to Pumpkin Pie and Peanut Butter and Jelly sodas, but I would definitely pass this one on by.

Buzz:2
One of the biggest offenses here is that coffee is not even an ingredient in coffee soda! There are dozens of coffee sodas in here, but instead Lester opted for artificial coffee flavor, and then supplemented with lab caffeine! WHY??? It would seem that for all his weird flavors, coffee would be the easiest to make - as you could just sweeten coffee and carbonate it and be done!

Instead, this is full of citric acid, fake coffee flavor, preservatives, caramel color and food starch. There is regular cane sugar in here bringing the calorie count up to 170 for a 12 ounce bottle. As for how much caffeine is in here, no idea - but I'll bet it is not that much. I am guessing there is about as much as what is in a soda; 30-40mg in the bottle.

I have a very hard time with going into the Rocket Fizz soda shop downtown. The problem is that no matter how much I go into it with the idea of just grabbing a Chick-o-stick and a Root Beer, I end up with 30 dollars worth of retro colas, european candy bars and craft brewed ginger ales.

Rocket Fizz has their own line of sodas too, although more often then not they are bizarre flavored sodas that taste like corn or hot wings or peanut better and jelly. While they do have a couple Rocket Fizz normal flavors, when you are surrounded by more interesting flavors and colors than a Jelly Belly gift bag, it is more tempting to grab a gingerbread flavor than a plain ol' root beer.

Surprisingly, there is only one caffeinated energy drink, and they do not list the caffeine content or much about it at all, except it comes in an electrifying blue color, tastes delicious and gives a short roller coaster of ride of energy.

Packaging:4
This is a pretty run of the mill package for Rocket Fizz, which is actually surprising, and disappointing too. They are surrounded by bottled drinks - making their entire business from th packaging and selling of unique drinks. They have a number of drink brands too - but their basic "Rocket Fizz" line looks very cutesy and childish.

On top of that, they do not list any information as to how much caffeine there is in here - something very important to energy drinkers. You can easily tell that this was not a specific energy drink made by Rocket Fizz, as much as it is just another in a long line of flavors Rocket Fizz turns out. For a company which whole business model is about bottled sodas, I really would expect better.

Taste:8
At least they did not go for the bland generic energy drink flavor, instead opting for something more original. Rocket Fuel does taste good - like melted Skittles. I like the basic wild berry flavor, and did not mind at all that it is not a natural flavor. After all, this drink is a shocking windshield-wiper blue, something you just can not find in the natural world.

There is no trace of anything chemical in here - just yummy soda. It is a very heavy mixture, mainly due to the high sugar content and light carbonation. While it is pretty enjoyable, I don't know i it could possibly stand up to all the other delicious caffeinated choices the store has to offer.

Buzz:7
There is a buzz to be found if you slam the 12 ounce bottle, but it is short sweet and a little painful. While I have no idea how much caffeine there is in here (Rocket Fizz HQ never called back with the amount, and the local store had no clue), there is a significant amount to leave me buzzing aroudn the office for a good two hours. After that, there was the inevitable crash from all that heaviness, but I expected it and was ready with more caffeine to counteract.

Health-wise, you can forget about it. Like all good candy-like sodas, this is all about the flavor. There is 160 calories in a bottle of Rocket Fuel, along with preservatives and artificial colors. There is a little vitamin C in here too, along with your daily Vitamin B12 and Niacin vitamins. It certainly did not need any help from the removal of the other usual energy drink ingredients, like ginseng or taurine. The sugar and caffeine was enough to definitely get my buzz going.

Element energy water

E-motion Energy gel

Turbo Snort energy nasal spray

Cowboy Up Energy Drink

Strip Off Stress PM Formula

Pure Kyk Energy Powder

Knockout Low Carb Energy Drink

Stimumist energy nasal spray

Coco Cafe Coconut Water Latte

ICED Bhakti Chai Coffee drink

Knockout Fruit Punch Energy drink

Goji Grape Unwind Ultimate Relaxation drink

Battery Hydro Energy Drink

Amp Focus energy drink

Death Wish ground coffee

Revv Pulse K-Cup coffee

Samba 99 energy bar

Rockstar Iced energy tea

Lester Fixins Coffee Soda

Rocket Fizz Rocket Fuel Energy Drink